Divorce is the legal breakup of a marriage. Like every major life change, divorce is stressful. It affects finances, living arrangements, household jobs, schedules and more. If the family includes children, they may be deeply affected.
Couples often get caught up in their own anger, drama, the messy divorce process, the papers, the desire for revenge and the division of property and finances.
But, who is looking out for the children? It isn’t just about the couple separating. What will be the divorce’s effect on the children?
It is important for parents to foster children’s long term adjustment to divorce. It is the parent’s responsibility to responsibility to safeguard and reassure them that it was not their fault and that everything will be fine. Aside from that, the children should never be used as pawns in negotiating.
It is recommended that couples build and nurture a good relationship with their children during the turbulent divorce process. This may mean spending lots of time with your children, meaning even more time than usual, if necessary.
Just because a couple is going through a divorce, the children should not be compromised. The whole process may be struggling for the couple but this is also the time that the children will need their parents more than ever.
Don’t bad mouth the other parent! This temptation is hard for some adults to overcome.
Remember, the children won’t always feel the way a parent does to his or her spouse. Whatever happens, your spouse is still the mom or dad to your children. Listen to your children. More importantly, do not get them to take sides, your side that is. This impulse must be resisted.
Again, in all aspects, communication is very vital. Keep an open one with your children. Accept how your child feels. Keep stability in your home and in your life. Children need structure. Limit the amount of changes you make in your children’s lives as you go through a divorce. And if such changes are inevitable, do them gradually while maintaining family routines. Make yourself always available for your child. Often, couples should not only consider counseling for themselves but for the children too.
As parents, you can’t always protect your children from divorce, but you can comfort them, provide them with support and the tools necessary to understand, and to hopefully overcome the pain of divorce. Remember, divorce is a family affair. You and your children are in this together.
It’s not only about you! Don’t let your children get lost in the process!
Divorce: How about the children?
No comments:
Post a Comment